Facts of Life

·      Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's far too much fraternizing with the enemy.

·      There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

·      Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

·      Don't worry about the world ending today...
It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia - then start worrying)

·      Character is what you are.
Reputation is what people think you are.

·      Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

·      A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..

·      A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.

·      The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

·      There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

·      If at first you don't succeed...
well, so much for sky diving.

·      A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things:
1 - Women,
2 - Fractions