Political Correctness For Kids
| Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage restrictive." |
| Kids don't get in trouble anymore; they merely hit "social speed bumps." |
| You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome." |
| No one's tall anymore; they're "vertically enhanced." |
| You're not shy; you're "conversationally selective." |
| You don't talk a lot; you're just "abundantly verbal." |
| It's not called gossip anymore; it's "transmission of near-factual information." |
| The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful; it's "digestively challenged." |
| Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience." |
| You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness." |
| You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor retentive athletic footwear." |
| You weren't passing notes in class; you were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations." |
| You're not being sent to the principal's office; you're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building." |